Day 9
It had been a few weeks since my friend Barry at 5th Avenue Cab needed help. After witnessing the Town of Brookfield Pub Crawl, the Forest Park St. Pats Parade (yes, on March 5th), and some gigantor party in LaGrange Park, I understand why they needed the Saturday help. Add to the chaos a dumping of freezing rain and snow along with many closed roads and ramps, it proved to be quite the night in the cab.
Customer #1 was a walk-up while I was posted at the train station.
#1: Do you guys drive to the Loop? (A 20 mile trip to downtown Chicago)
Me: Maybe
#1: I missed the train, I am in the Navy, my grandmother is in town. How much would it cost?
Me: About $40
#1: Would you trust me? I can go to an ATM when we get downtown.
My brain: Not really. You talk as if you have snorted a lot of substance and have a shaggy haircut.
Me: No.
#1: Hmm.
Me: There is an ATM a few blocks away. I will take you there and you can pre-pay.
That is how it went down. After wo closed bridges and a closed ramp, we made it to the Hotel Intercontinental. Grandma has class. Dude looks forward to being stationed in San Diego. According to Customer #1, San Diego has “lots of things to buy, and women, and strip clubs.” I don’t think he meant to connect them as dots.
Customer #2/3 were my fare achieved by “trolling.” Madison Avenue in Forest Park, IL is full of Irish Pubs, trendy restaurants, and a few clubs. The street was hopping with drunks as the town held their St. Patrick’s Day Parade earlier.
Drunk Customer #2 (an attractive Asian women in her 20’s): Shit, you are a cab. Great. Get in idiot.
Drunk Customer #3: With my beer and stuff?
#2: Hey driver guy, I think we are going to 8 something Washington.
My Brain: Another person with a fear of commitment…
#2: I don’t know why you are mad at me.
#3: I think I want you to shut up. It’s okay driver guy, I won’t pee in your car.
#2: If you pee, I’ll shit (so ladylike)
#2: Its okay driver guy, we talk like that. And he is drunk. We are like brother and sister.
My brain: I never had a sister, so I won’t judge.
#3: I like you driver guy
My brain: Thanks.
#2: I am not sure why I date dumb white guys (hence the importance of my Asian qualifier earlier)
After a nice tip, #2 got out of the cab and started walk and find her car. #3 just sat in the back for a minute.
#3: Do I have to go?
Me: She likes you, and you have to pee, remember?
He left.
Customers #4 and #5 were also walking the streets. They were a really nice drunk couple. Engaged. We had fun and talked about drums.
#4: Will you take us to Oak Brook? 22nd or 16th Streets. (Another fear of commitment)
Me: Let’s start with 22nd Street and work our way down.
#4: Good plan. This is my fiancé, Jenny.
#5: We are going to a club in Oak Brook. I don’t think we are dressed appropriately. Will you wait for us and make sure we get in? Then take us to my place to change?
Me: Sure, we charge by the mile.
My brain: I hope you two nice people do not throw up, and that you do NOT get into the club. More $$.
#4 and #5 provided me with an addition to their normal tip… a really ugly purse with 5 tall-boy cans of Budweiser. They didn’t feel it appropriate to take it into SKY. SKY is a bar/nightclub that is SO fancy that they use a backwards “K.” My nightclub will be called "GARY" with a backwards "A."
Customer #6 was a “drivingmissdaisy” situation:
Me: So where we headed?
Miss Daisy: How the hell should I know? Take any route you like.
Me: I mean, what is the name of the restaurant?
Miss Daisy: Oh, well …………
Visit soon for more of Day 9………
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