Day 9. Forest Park, Brookfield, and Miss Daisy.

Day 9

It had been a few weeks since my friend Barry at 5^th Avenue Cab needed help.  After witnessing the Town of Brookfield Pub Crawl, the Forest Park St. Pats Parade (yes, on March 5^th), and some gigantor party in LaGrange Park, I understand why they needed the Saturday help.  Add to the chaos a dumping of freezing rain and snow along with many closed roads and ramps, it proved to be quite the night in the cab.

Customer #1 was a walk-up while I was posted at the train station.

#1:  Do you guys drive to the Loop? (A 20 mile trip to downtown Chicago)

Me: Maybe

#1:  I missed the train, I am in the Navy, my grandmother is in town.  How much would it cost?

Me: About $40

#1: Would you trust me?  I can go to an ATM when we get downtown.

My brain: Not really.  You talk as if you have snorted a lot of substance and have a shaggy haircut.

Me: No.

#1: Hmm.

Me: There is an ATM a few blocks away.  I will take you there and you can pre-pay.

That is how it went down.  After wo closed bridges and a closed ramp, we made it to the Hotel Intercontinental.  Grandma has class.  Dude looks forward to being stationed in San Diego.  According to Customer #1, San Diego has “lots of things to buy, and women, and strip clubs.”  I don’t think he meant to connect them as dots.

Customer #2/3 were my fare achieved by “trolling.”  Madison Avenue in Forest Park, IL is full of Irish Pubs,  trendy restaurants, and a few clubs.  The street was hopping with drunks as the town held their St. Patrick’s Day Parade earlier. 

Drunk Customer #2 (an attractive Asian women in her 20’s): Shit, you are a cab. Great. Get in idiot.

Drunk Customer #3: With my beer and stuff?

#2:  Hey driver guy, I think we are going to 8 something Washington.

My Brain: Another person with a fear of commitment…

#2:  I don’t know why you are mad at me.

#3:  I think I want you to shut up.  It’s okay driver guy, I won’t pee in your car.

#2:  If you pee, I’ll shit (so ladylike)

#2:  Its okay driver guy, we talk like that. And he is drunk.  We are like brother and sister.

My brain:  I never had a sister, so I won’t judge.

#3:  I like you driver guy

My brain:  Thanks.

#2:  I am not sure why I date dumb white guys (hence the importance of my Asian qualifier earlier)

After a nice tip, #2 got out of the cab and started walk and find her car.  #3 just sat in the back for a minute.

#3: Do I have to go?

Me: She likes you, and you have to pee, remember?

He left.

Customers #4 and #5 were also walking the streets.  They were a really nice drunk couple. Engaged.  We had fun and talked about drums.

#4: Will you take us to Oak Brook?  22^nd or 16^th Streets. (Another fear of commitment)

Me: Let’s start with 22^nd Street and work our way down.

#4:  Good plan.  This is my fiancé, Jenny. 

#5:  We are going to a club in Oak Brook.  I don’t think we are dressed appropriately. Will you wait for us and make sure we get in?  Then take us to my place to change?

Me: Sure, we charge by the mile.

My brain: I hope you two nice people do not throw up, and that you do NOT get into the club.  More $$.

#4 and #5 provided me with an addition to their normal tip… a really ugly purse with 5 tall-boy cans of Budweiser.  They didn’t feel it appropriate to take it into SKY.  SKY is a bar/nightclub that is SO fancy that they use a backwards “K.”  My nightclub will be called "GARY" with a backwards "A."

Customer #6 was a “drivingmissdaisy” situation:

Me: So where we headed?

Miss Daisy: How the hell should I know?  Take any route you like.

Me: I mean, what is the name of the restaurant?

Miss Daisy: Oh, well …………

Visit soon for more of Day 9………