Reflection on North Face

... or is it THE North Face?  I realized in the grocery store today that I do not own a "The North Face" (TNF) coat.  They let me buy food despite my deficiency.  No wonder I am cold!  My coat doesn't work.  Sure, my coat worked last year.  I drove a family of three to the airport in the cab last week.  Four people in the Audi, three TFN jackets.  I didn't notice until we got out for the luggage, since the TFN logo is usually on the BACK of the coat.  Was this originally a mistake?  "Hey, Percilla sewed the logo on the BACK! Should we fire her?" 

I remember while I was in college, it was cool to wear your sweatshirt inside-out.  I am all for buying popular stuff.  Popular stuff is rarely crap.  As a Chicagoan, I just feel that the SOUTHsiders once again got the shaft. 

Is London Fog dead?

Day Five

Again, I was happy to be available when I got the call from Barry asking me if I was available to drive.  I was almost given the keys to one of the two min-vans, but my look of disappointment was well read, and I was back in car #134.  (Not that there is anything wrong with mini-vans).

I figured it would be a slower day with no Holiday surrounding the weekend.  I was correct. It does continue to amaze me that each fare introduces me to one character after another.  #1 today needed a ride from the pancake joint to the local coin collectors show.  Who knew that there was a large coin show once a month?  His first words as I met him outside of the car matched the look on his face. “That’s it? I have to get in that?” My immediate thought was that he had issue with the Audi.  Maybe he disliked Germans. It ends up the issue was the size of the sedan.  “I can’t bend,” he offered.  Once comfortable in the front seat, he shared that a train had hit him years ago while working for the railroad.  If it were not for the extreme cold conditions, he would have died. I learn all of this in about forty-five seconds.  By the way, now is a good time to sell coins due to the value of silver at the moment.  Not quite the stock tip I am waiting for, but good information.

#2 was an older gentleman and his son of about 45 years. They needed a simple ride from Burger King back into town.  I am not sure what a complex ride would have entailed. As soon as the son tried to say a word, the father interrupted him with a loud, “shut it Kenny, and speak when spoken to!”  During the quick stop for the horse racing tip sheet from 7-11, Kenny shared with me how he had a lot to tell the preacher.  He mentioned that he should not be telling me this.  Confession is private he taught me.  I was about to say, “Kenny, speak only when spoken to!”  My cab smelled like Burger King.  The father and I shared war stories about the red light cameras.  I have been hit with two right-turn-on-red tickets.  I paid them.  I also read an article stating that the cameras and the towns that use them will alter the way they issue right-on-red tickets.  Thanks a lot!

Unfortunately, only one airport run today. Midway Airport: named in honor of the Battle of Midway.  Surviving that battle must have been a bit like surviving my first experience in the bathrooms at Midway’s can lot.  Housed in a government building, which also houses the TAX STAMP window and a few vending machines, the bathrooms are unique.  I was met by a gentleman using the janitor’s spigot (reserved for filling buckets) as a shower.  He was quite skilled at throwing water on himself and cleaning his feet in the floor level drain tub.  Maybe I will learn.  In my stall of choice, I found an empty gallon bottle of windshield-wiper fluid.  How and why this bottle was next to a toilet was the day’s mystery.  Hmmmmm.

Back in the lobby were several prayer mats and several drivers about to use them.  I thought this was cool … not sure why.

#5 for they day came out of his house wearing a red shirt and khaki pants.  Where was he going?  Target.

#6 and I were able to reminisce about the South Side Irish Parade, a parade that was cancelled in 2009.  That ended at least 25 years of several hundred thousand people invading a great Chicago neighborhood and its taverns once a year.  I don’t remember much about those pre-parties, parade floats, and post-parties, but they all looked fun on the news and in the police blotter.

Correction: While useful, mini-vans have not one ounce of aesthetic value.

http://www.helium.com/items/773623-overcoming-the-psychological-stigma-of-buying-a-minivan

Ambulance

This was a first. I pulled over, as you would when you see an ambulance with its lights on coming toward you.  Why?  Because an ambulance was speeding towards me.  Anyway, I could see that there were two EMT's in the truck, one of them driving the ambulance.  I could also see them playing rock-paper-scissors (rochambeau).  I witnessed THREE games.  It really made me wonder what assignment the winner was hoping to avoid when the ambulance reached the destination.  Thoughts?

The actors..

http://5thavecab.com/

Unfaithful

I flew to my Dad's in Florida today.  I got a ride from a friend to the airport.  I didn't call a livery service for the ride. I felt like I cheated on my driving brethren.  "Brethren" can be unisex now.  The Political Correctness Statute #2324, section B says so.  There are no cabbies and cabettes anymore.  Just steering-wheel attendants.

Day 4 - Christmas Eve

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When Dispatched to a nursing home to take Peter home, I assumed I was taking a senior citizen home from a visit.  Instead, a man about my age was escorted to my cab (#134) by a nurse.  One of his legs was exposed to show several metal rods coming out of his leg, all attached to some type of brace.  Once we loaded Peter, his leg, and his TWO bags of pills in the car, Paul asked if I had picked up any cigarettes for him.  My negative reply did not make Peter happy.  It was then I realized that Peter spoke as if he was recently given a lobotomy.  Well, I guess if he had a lobotomy, it could have been administered long ago.  Unfortunately, we had to make two stops on the long ride to his apartment, one for coffee and one for cigarettes. My biggest fear at the moment came true when Peter asked of I could help him in his apartment when we got there.  He had mentioned how he really missed home since his leg surgery.  When we stepped in the apartment, I was immediately sad for Peter. It was not a place most of us would look forward to getting to.  But to Peter, this was home.  His place.  His stuff.  It is all relative, I guess.

After stopping at the first building I could find with a sink ( Speedway Gas) to wash my hands, I was ready for more.

I did have to let Peter know that he could not smoke in the car.  I may as well have let him light-up.  I smelled like smoke!  I was in the cab garage/lounge for about five minutes in the morning.  There were four people there, each smoking 2 cigarettes at a time.  It was enough time for the smoke to invade my clothes without warning.  I am beginning to appreciate the Illinois smoking band in bars and restaurants.  The problem with bars is that now I can smell the dirty beer tap lines as well as the clientele. I still suggest, however, that comedy clubs were funnier when the rooms were more a bit smoke-filled.

Being Christmas Eve, I was blessed with several airport runs.  BACK TO THE TAXI LOT FOR ME!  On this day, I actually went into the restaurant in the lot.  I guess it is more of a take-out joint unless you want to stand along the window like a good Chicago hot dog stand lets you.  My observation of the day was the eclectic menu.  Would it surprise you that they serve hamburgers, Polish, kabobs, and a “Pakastani” ???

One of the short runs of the day was taking a furry guy named Buddy to the Whole Foods grocery store in Hinsdale.  It was at that moment when a cab delivers its fare to the destination and exchanges currency with the customer that Buddy decided to ask me why Science has such a hard time believing in the Christmas Story.  It would have been an interesting discussion I am sure, but I wanted him OUT.  I also needed a bathroom.

Speaking of bathrooms:  When driving a cab, one benefits from pre-planning any liquid intake.

On tipping and gratuities:  There is no correlation between the size of one’s house and how well he/she tips.

Numbers

1.  The name of the company is 5th Avenue Cab.

2.     Driving Miss Daisy premiered around 7665 years ago.

3.     48% of this blog’s readers used Firefox. 1% have used Safari.

4.     The phone # for 5^th Ave Cab is 708-352-5050

5.  I have a friend with 9.5 toes.