Dust buggars. Yes, I said dust buggars....

How could I forget one of the best stories from Friday night?  My last ride were three guys that had spent the day in the extreme heat at Lollapalooza.  Half the reason I drove that night was to make $$ off of the music fest.  These guys each wanted to rally, and continue their night out.  What I knew that the shotgun passenger did not, was that his two buddies were already falling asleep in my backseats.  He just kept droning on and on.  "Dudes,  do you have crazy dust buggars from today?".    He asked and commented about this all while cleaning out his nose.  With his fingers.  He was not shy about digging in while I drove the Kennedy Expressway at 55 MPH.   He at least had the decency of clearing his fingers of dust by putting his hand out of the car window.  Finally the friend behind him realized what was being said and done and subsequently yelled, "Dude, your dust buggars are hitting me in the face back here!"   Have YOU ever tossed a gum wrapper or cigarette ash out of your car window?  It usually ends up in the backseat.  

Lolla and the Big Hairy Boyfriend

Tonight was full of rappers and references to the same restaurant.  A strange theme on the first night of Lollapalooza in Chicago. My first ride of note was a pickup at Parson's.  Ironically, I stumbled across the place weeks ago and the wait was too long to try it.  Uber indicated that I would be picking up Kylie.  She texted me that a Big Hairy Guy would be coming out soon.  I figured he would be with her.  Instead, Kylie arranged the pick up for her boyfriend.  Hugo was as nice as he was hairy.   He is a cook at Parson's and is proud of the chicken and fish.  Bop N Grill, a favorite on the far north side and featured on DDD.  Half way through the ride it comes out the he is really intent on becoming a successful rapper along with promoting his clothing line.   So keep an eye out for 3i$, both for his rap songs and his clothes. 

Hugo also mentioned Parsons being similar to Big Star ( http://bigstarchicago.com ).  I note this because out of the 7 or 8 rides I gave tonight, 4 of them mentioned Big Star for variousl reasons.   I guess I have some places to check out!

In addition to Big Star finding its way into my car several times, so did the Rap genre.  My favorite ride of the nite was for a trio of late twenty-somethings.  Plugging in their phone was of first priority in order to get the jams going.  They had their pre-party buzz on.  Kyle loved to make up raps.  Partly to just be silly and partly to show off for the woman in the car.  I can now define talent as someone who can us the name "Gary" in a rap song and make it sound almost cool.  " We could have rode the b-us, but we got Gary driving us in the Pre-Us."   I drive a Prius, and yes, I am in group therapy to deal with it.  This trio flattered me by wanting me to quit driving for the night and join them at a party.  I might have, by money was to be made soon with Lollapalooza ending.  Kyle then offered me cocaine if I would change my mind.   Cocaine.

Driving in the city at night brings me past many places that I would not mind being in!  I will call them Uber Teases.  Hopleaf, Half Acre Brewery, Old Town School of Folk Music, Lolla.

The previous day, however, I DID stop.  I lunched at the 90 -Miles Cuban Cafe.  Plantains and a Cuban sandwich!!!  It was also featured on the DDD.

And the small world award went to the guy with the strange accent.  I was studying conducting at the University of Illinois.  Same music school I graduated from.  Not alot of us conductors out there.

Stay thirsty my friends.

Boring! Boooooorrriing!

I am going to hook you by admitting it was a relatively boring few runs.  But with even that there is a story.  The story of Bob.  Uber riders' first names pop up as soon as I accept a ride.  So I knew I was about to pick up Bob in the River East area of Chicago.  Bob was a 20something white guy with a polo shirt and a haircut that said, " I have hair".  Nothing special.  He was softspoken but willing to make conversation.  He asked how uber driving was going, and I shared that it was busy but that there were no good stories for the day.  All pretty average riders.  Poor Bob then admitted that he was probably the most boring of all my rides.  He said it in sort of a sad Charlie Brown kinda way.  If I was certified I would have pulled over and offered a counseling session.  But I am not certified.  So I counted the minutes before his boring ass was out of my car.

New place I gotta eat:  The Plymouth on Plymouth.  Just north of the Harold Washington Library.  My rider was a waiter there.  He hates it, but admits the rooftop restaurant has great prices and good food.   http://plymouthgrill.com/

Favorite quote of the day from the well dressed 28 year old woman after seeing all of the Moms and 12-year-olds headed to the Taylor Swift concert at Soldier Field:  "Oh God, I am going to be the oldest person at the concert tomorrow night."

Angering the Chinese and Good Pizza

Since day one of Ubering I have been out for several more stints.  I tried to make mental notes and even used the Notes on my iphone to keep track of the rides worth sharing.  There are just too many, so for this post I will use more of a bullet format to share the quotes, strange circumstances, and reflections.  Enjoy;

- "Ya know, you are like the first Uber drivers.  Kinda normal and quirky.  Many of the new Uber drivers are ex-cab drivers"
- One guy from the northern burbs of Chicago was proud that his parents were opening a pizza place that is part of a small chain.  Aurelios!  Don't get me started.  Best pizza ever.  Sweet sauce and baked on cheese....  in case you need to be forewarned.
- If you make it to The Litehouse for some food in Hyde Park, ask for Rico.  Well, he corrected me, he goes by T-Y ( tee-why ).   I drove him to his family's restaurant from the South Loop.
- I would love to tell you about Angry Chinawoman.  That is my name for her.  AC had a heavy accent.  When people yell at you in a heavy accent, it is hard to not giggle inside. Somehow it was my fault it was cold out.  It was in the 60's!  I hope winter makes her move back to China.  She was mean.
-  I assumed my last ride at 10PM in downtown Chicago would be local.  Nope.  The very young lady  ( ends up she was at least 21 ) wanted to go to Des Plaines.  It is the City of Destiny.... look it up.  That brought us to a small run down house with more cars in the drive and lawn than there were bedrooms.   She asked for me to wait a few then take her to a bar.  While waiting I watched two guys smoke a bong on the couch and another guy come out and stare at me while he urinated on the lawn.  I think I helped her buy drugs.   If she did buy them, she then gave them to the douche with a Vape Cigarette in the parking lot of Chasers bar in Niles.  Quite a tour of the NW burbs.
- Time stamp this post.  I did get to listen to some of the MLB All-Star game.  American League won, so the last place Chicago White Sox will have home field advantage when they play in the World Series.
- One guy in his twenties said it is normal for his generation to stay out til 4.  I told him I would never have made it til 4.  Then we realized that my generation went out at 9 and partied til 2.  His does not even go out til 11PM.  So they are not a cooler generation, they are just tardy.

"Oober" Day One and the case of the small blatter

Been at least three years since driving "you" around.  Today was my first day as the "Oober Guy".  I was asked twice; " You the oober guy?"  I hadn't even answered before one dude entered my car.  If I was not the oober guy, it would have been unsettling.

My first fare?  Well, I don't think they are called fares, but I will figure out what they are called.  There must be a hipster name for one.   I think Oober is boring by referring to them as customers.  My first pick-up was Vernaise (below) from the Tri-Taylor neighborhood of Chicago.  She is also an Oober driver, so I learned some stuff during our 40 minute congested ride from hell to go 7 miles.  I can blame the Crosstown Classic between the White Sox and the Cubs at at Wigley Field for our traffic woes.

 

 My first pick up ever!

My favorite ride was another traffic nightmare.  I took the fine ladies below to Northerly Island's traffic hell to see Jill Scott, Babyface, Ledisi and Avery Sunshine.  The 40 minute, 2 mile trip made me the only guy with a Kenny Chesney ticket stub anywhere near the concert venue.  But we listened to some Avery through my bluetooth and survived the traffic.  Well I sort of survived.  I needed a urinal since they entered the car.  Not far from the Adler Planetarium was some landscaping with some "tall grasses".  Sadly, the grasses were not quite as tall as me.  Other than the Chicago Police Officer yelling at me to zip it up and move my car, I guess I got away with my relief efforts.

Lastly and most disturbing was the hipster couple that would not even say hello to me.  I am over it.  But their conversation was entertainment enough.  Both had just woken up ( at 4PM ) from a night of drinking until 4AM followed by some marijuana cigarette smoking to kill time til' 5AM.  She was either bragging or concerned about her two male friends "feeling her up" as she fell asleep.  Yes, it is true.  I am not allowed to make stuff up.  So smoke that and compare it to YOUR Friday night.

Mile High Club and the Stamp of Day 11

5/13/11 Day 11

TIP UPDATE.  I like to name the blog entries sometimes.  Such as “TIP UPDATE.”  It makes me believe that it will be a part of an ongoing series, but the reality is that I will forget all about it and never actually do an update.  Anyway, my observation today is similar to an earlier post.  I just received a generous $5 tip from a well-pierced young man finishing up a thirteen hour shift at Jewel ( a grocery store for you non-Chicagoans).  We drove 4 miles together.   My first fare tonight was an executive coming home from closing a “big contract” in New York.  It was a 22 mile ride in hellish traffic, on an ugly toll-way.  She talked at me for most of it.  Same tip.  I am thankful for the tip after this airport ride, and would argue it as fair.  My thought really rests on how generous and appreciative the young man was.

HEY- Just drove by Horse-Drawn Productions (the recording studio I use) in Berwyn. Hi guys.

THE STAMP:  Okay, I really didn’t need to name this post THE STAMP, but I am striving for consistency here.  In my very first or second post (Day 2?), I wrote about the $4 tax cabs and limos pay at the airports.  They are sold in books of 10 by unfriendly humanlike creatures that sit behind 15-inch thick bullet proof glass.  As soon as the many loitering cabbies from the United Nations Convention being held near the brick ticket-selling building saw me go for my wallet, they pounced.  I now know what fresh roadkill feels like as the buzzards swoop in.  Each buzzard knows how to say the word “share” in English.  Each buzzard holds out four $1 bills in the same fashion, so that I can see that their wad really is $4.  Each buzzard wants one of my 10 stamps, so it can avoid buying 10 stamps.  Yes, I said “it”.   I am all  in  I get it.  I can help. I am part of the solution. I don’t want to hold onto 10 stamps.  It’s a win-win.  

While waiting for our next fare, we often “post up” at the LaGrange train station.  It sits across from The Grapevine restaurant. Good stuff, Grapevine is.  It is one of those joints that is many steps above fast food.  You order at the counter, get a number, and then they bring you your food when it is ready, which is how I prefer my food.  These order-at-the-counter joints are the best.  What they really do is eliminate the possibility of bad service, and the need to tip.  Again, I believe in good tips for good service, but I don’t mind cutting out the middleman.  Sorry ACLU,  middleperson.

MILE HIGH CLUB?  I picked up a well dressed couple from a posh wine bar in Burr Ridge. They seemed to have sampled most of the wine.  They needed to get to another imbibing establishment about 15 minutes away. I don’t think they were married based on how “in to” HIM that SHE seemed to be.  The slurping sounds came quick.  She liked to kiss.  “Hey, this is like the show Cash Cab!,” HE blurted.  More like Taxicab Confessions, I thought. During the first few minutes, SHE was really trying to get HIM to mess around.  Though they were hoping I could not hear them, drunk people cannot whisper. She really wanted IT, but he was embarrassed to perform in a cab.  I was gripping the wheel tightly, unsure what I wanted, and pretending I could not hear the conversation.  “But what about the mile high club?,” SHE asked.  Any success would get you into the 18 inch club I figured. (Thanks HS).   I finally put HIM out of his misery and announced they had about 2 more miles to figure it all out.

METAMORPHASIS: The couple that I dove to the Murray’s Bar at 8PM was NOT the same couple I drove home from Murray’s at 2AM.  Beer changes people.  It also makes them throw up.  They did like my story about the mile high club couple.  They wanted to know if I would have allowed the wine bar couple to complete their mission.  I had to admit I wasn’t sure. Are there laws about this sort of thing? It was concluded that if the wine bar couple had been less than attractive, that I would have announced, “hey, you can’t do that in here!  There are laws about this sort of thing.”

Day 10, Match dot com and a coyote?

Why “drivingyouaround” is cool?  I picked up Harold at the grocery store.  He only needed to go a few miles to get home.  Harold had plenty to be proud of. A lawyer for fifty years, accepted into the Air Force at age 17.  He was a gunner in a plane out of the Philippines in WWII, made it home, and married a “gal” that already had 3 kids.  He was proud of his relationship with his stepchildren.  For Christmas one year, they gave him his most memorable gift; they elected to change their last name to his.  I could tell Harold was sorry we could not talk longer.

#2 was a walk up.  She approached the car while on her cell phone.  “Hold on, I gotta tell this guy where I am going.”  I’m “this guy”.  She was still yapping about the big account she is working on as she walked towards her front door.  I am not sure she if she took a breath the whole time.  I felt for the sap on the other end of that one-sided conversation

.

#3 was a boring ride to the airport.  Boring!  Didn’t he know I need blog material? People can be selfish.

#4 and her sister, #5, were my second non-monetary tip of my driving career.  I’m not sure which sister smelled like stale cigarettes, and which smelled like stale beer.  I would have guessed them homeless, but I picked them up at a home. 

Some notable quotes from the ride to the 24-HR Walgreen’s pharmacy:

“You can’t smoke in here Sis! This is a one of those nice cars, like a limo car or sumpthin.”

“I hope you hurry, I’m gonna have a smoke while you’re in the store, so hurry.  Hurry, okay?”

“She ain’t hurrying.”

“We are sisters but we love each other.”

“Your nice, you should come hang with us sometime.”

“Your all dressed up. Where you goin’?”

            Me – “I’m working, and apparently I am going to Walgreens”

“You ever have this gum? Its good gum. It has a cool wrapper.”

“It’s eleven dollars? Oh, well here is twelve and the rest of the pack of gum. My sister doesn’t like this gum.  I like it for gum and all.”

#7 was on a Match.com date.  I picked him up in Orland Park, near my old “hood.”  He had just finished up his first date, Stacy.  She is from Country Club Hills, which is my old “hood.”  Stacy had her own car.  #7 likes Match.com at age 45.  He only dates black (African-American) women now. He says the women he has dated are less uptight .   #7 is white (white).

#8 and I saw a coyote on the way back from the airport.  I have seen many lately.  Most of them are pretty scrawny and mangy looking.  The last one I saw was pretty healty and quite regal.  I was embarrassed to think it could have been a wolf.  #8 said he just saw a wolf.  I didn’t want to make him feel stupid and point out that it was a coyote.  Its bad for tips to make the customer feel stupid..  So I told him anyway.