Saturday, October 31, 2015

Halloween Day and Annoying Nice People

Halloween Day 2015:

     I learned a new verb today.  A fun Hipster couple was in my Prius discussing how one female friend of theirs believes she was drugged by another distant creepy friend of theirs.  The woman in the car said that her friend was "Bill Cosbyed" by the creep.  I had to chime in and add that I am excited about the new verb.  ( Not excited that Dr. Huxtable had access to drugs. ). She was quick to add that the Creep did not have sex with the female friend.  So I had to correct the terminology and point out the the friend was "Billed" but not quite "Cosbyed.".   Either way, upon further thinking, I realized that months earlier I had inadvertently  "Bill Cosbyed" myself.  It was the second day in a month that I was falling asleep with little control in the matter.  After trying to figure out why this had happened twice to me, I finally checked the label of my Tylenol and saw that it was NIGHTTIME Tylenol.  So I cancelled my doctor appointment.  I was convinced that I was dying.


Jail:

   I picked up two sweet elderly ladies in the Bridgeport Neighborhood.  They were headed to a great diner....  White Palace Grill on Canal Street.   They had both been teachers in the city for much of their lives.  One shared how she created her own free tutoring program for the poorer kids in the area.  She even brought some kids home to cook them a real meal and help them with their schooling.  Nowadays,  she would be arrested for such a thing.  I am glad that "nowadays" is a word.


A Cool Chicago College Gameday Thing

   I am sure Chicago is not unique, but if you went to a Big10 or larger college, you have your own bar in Chicago.  I knew that each Big10 school had claim to a bar.  Several years ago, Court and Ack were in town.  Being Pennsylvanians, we had to visit the Penn State bar for the Penn State vs. Illinois football game.  It was pretty cool to walk in to the sea of white and blue.  Now hold on to your hat...... Penn State beat Illinois that day.  Today, a couple from North Carolina had be bring them to Clark and Fullerton so that they could watch Clemson at the Clemson bar, Lincoln Park Stadium Bar and Grill.   Clemson!!

Nice People are annoying?

    I had another couple from North Carolina along with their New York friend in the car.  While the NC couple went on and on about how nice the people of Chicago were, the New Yorker finally announced how tired he was of having to respond to Chicagoans doing horrible things like:  Saying "bless you" after a sneeze;  Holding the door for you;  Allowing and waving you into traffic; Saying hello.  The poor guy.

Pride

    I drove by Wiener Circle.  They have parking.  I was hungry.  I did not stop for a hot dog.  I am proud of myself.  Master of my domain.


Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Unhappy Catholics

Unhappy Catholics on 9-23-15

I drove through the far northwest side of Chicago tonight, known as the Belmont-Cragin area.  The ride brought me down Austin Avenue, which I will call Catholic Church row.  If you are not aware, Chicago has a massive Catholic population and history.  ( no pun intended).   My only reason formwriting about it is to share my realization that Catholic Church names are not all that inviting; Blessed Church of Dead Saints,  Our Lady of Sorrow and Depression, St. Dude of the Mourning Mothers,  Holy Church of Guilt and Loathing.  Shame On You Church of the Holy Spirit.  You get it.

More Racism on 10-5-15

It is bad enough when a grown white guy talks like a moron, but it is worse ( or actually funny ) when a grown Filipino guy speaks "douche".  Even better is when the guy is in your back seat using a cell phone.  You picture it in your head; an asian guy named Bill speaking with no accent at all:

     "Dude, what is the Dillio?"   "No way, that place is like boss."  "Will there be any bitches there?"  "Dude, that is dope as heyell."  "Well the 4-1-1 on that sounds dope" ( no as hell on that one ) "Oh man, well I will see you in 20 so we can get our drink on bro."

Following this music to my ears, Bill and I discussed the three most important components of a good relationship.  It was like he flipped off the "moron" switch as if a forty-something year old white guy would not understand him.