Sunday, August 16, 2015

Nectarine Amy and Gunshots

These next several stories took place during just the few drives between 8/16/15 and 8/26/15.

I will start with Lance the cook. While waiting in a Walgreens parking lot for my ride, I watched a guy picking up used cigarette. He disappeared from sight, and without fail, asked if I was the Uber guyupon his return.   He apologize for disappearing and informed me that he  "had to pee over there."  He gestured to the short bushes in the middle of the parking lot.  He smelled of cigarettes. Used cigarettes to be more accurate.   He is also the cook in an unnamed establishment (pub) in Westchester, IL. 


This next story can fall under the WHY I UBER category.  I picked a couple up with one tiny piece of luggage at an upscale hotel in the west suburbs. They said they were headed to a park in Chicago, but not sure where. They asked that I just head "that way" while they searched for a public pool to explore.  They just wanted to swim in a pool. I informed them that there really aren't public pools for people to just show up at in Chicago. Apparantly they travel often, and like to find pools.  Kind of a sicko pool fetish.  (not really, I just wanted to type that ).  So I mentioned the small beach near Adler Planetarium and the suggestion as a go.  While sitting in typical crappy traffic on I-290 we discussed Chicago baseball.  How odd that Chicago tourists had more of an interest in the White Sox than the Cubs.  "Are either team in town?"   Why YES, the Cubs were about to throw the first pitch at Sox Park ( aka Comiskey, aka US Cellular Field, aka The Cell ).   I gotta love their change of plans.  Twenty minutes later I was about to drop them several blocks from the park so that they could scalp a few tickets, when we realized their one piece of luggage would prevent them entry.  "Get back in the car" I offered.  While off the clock, I took them to  a friend's two-flat apartment building, hid their luggage in the back yard, and walked them through the signature Chicago neighborhood alley back to 35th street.  I'll never know if they scored tickets.   I'll also never know if their luggage was stolen.  Good people!!


August 26. Without question, the winner of today's  HOLY CRAP AWARD was Grant.  He enjoyed Uber stories, and was quick to share his own insane story.  First he assured me that we were headed to his house, and that it was in a safe neighborhood.  He said it in that "I tell people I live in a safe place even though it is not a safe place" kind of way.  He explained that a recent Uber driver picked him up in a large extended-cab pick-up truck.  Odd.  He then asked if I had heard about the Uber driver who shot someone?  I had heard the quick news bite, but did not hear nor read any details.  I think this poor guy is wondering if I might off him later, but he is again quick to explain that this Uber shooter was the good guy.  Back in April, minutes after the black pick-up drops of Grant in his safe neighborhood, the Uber driver happened upon some gang activity and lively shooting.  The licensed to conceal and carry driver went ahead and shot one of the gang bangers.  Grant had no idea this happened until the morning, when his phone was full of messages from Uber wanting to interview him about the mental state of his Uber driver.  I have to admit, my blood was pumping faster and faster as the story unfolded.  This was NOT a boring ride.  In fact, instead of thinking about boring Uber riders, I was feeling like a boring Uber Driver!  I needed to step it up.  I needed to drop off Grant and quickly find someone to assault.  I am competitive!  Soon after I picked up a nice couple and their puppy.  I did not assault them.  Nor the puppy.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-uber-driver-shoots-gunman-met-0420-20150419-story.html

Quick aside:   Have you ever found yourself driving while a bit too tired?  I decided to quit one night after sitting at a stop sign, waiting for it to turn green. 

August 27.  I decided to turn on the Uber App on my way home from work.  Sure enough I got a hit which brought me to a strip mall on 87th Street.  Ann and her one piece of luggage needed to get to Midway Airport in time for her to get some "Pot Belly" and make her flight.  Before I even said hello she says "wait til you hear what a day I have had."  She did not dissapoint;

4:30 AM.  Ann is awake in her downtown apartment, ready to venture to Midway for her 6:30 AM flight to Tampa.  She would be gone several days, so she cleared the kitchen and ate the last of the nectarines.

9:00 AM.  Alamo Rental Car informs her that she cannot rent a car for her drive to Sarasota with her EXPIRED Illinois Driver's License.

9:30 AM.  The phone calls to the Illinois DMV fail to produce a temporary certificate despite some heavy tears.

10:00 AM.  Amy will NOT see her friend in Sarasota, but the tears score a free flight home from Southwest Airlines back to Chicago.  She did not even have to ask.  Yay Southwest!!

1:00 PM.  Amy arrives at the nearest DMV via cab.  She had to guide the cab driver using her own GPS as he could not find 87th and Harlem !!!!

4:30 PM.  A nice Uber guy named Gary takes Ann and her updated license BACK to Midway Airport so that she can restart her visit.  This must be some friend she is visiting!

And all I am really thinking now is, mmmmmmm, Pot Belly.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Credit Cards Welcomed and 16-Inch Softball



Bambi. My phone alerted me to pick up a woman ( I assumed ) named Bambi. I think she got off of work from the night before, if you know what I mean. Not conventionally attractive. That being said, she was not unconventionally attractive either.  Someone got ripped off.

I like that Ubering takes me to new places, which means close to unique  restaurants.  It is almost a good excuse  to drive. If I find myself hungry, which is every few minutes, I can hop on my Around Me app and see what restaurants are around me.  The TV Food Maps app can also direct me to joints featured on the various food channel shows.  Today it was a hotdog at Henry's near Cicero, Illinios. Al Capone!!  If you notice below, credit cards are welcome. But not Jews.  OK, kidding about the Jews thing.



I also passed the Chicago 16-Inch Softball Hall of Fame building in Oak Park on Harrison Street. Who knew?  I do remember living in Pennsylvania ( Media ) and getting to listen to my P.E. teacher introduce us to the sport "poplular in Chicago."  It is real, beacause it has a website: http://16inchsoftballhof.com/

Speaking of restaurants and sports, my last ride brought me to the Bridgeport neighborhood, where the White Sox play. Hungry enough,  I stopped at a typical Maxwell Street Polish joint where you order on the street and eat at the metal counter outside if you so wish. The older gentleman next to me said "blewchkle",  which must have meant "salt" as he passed me the salt.  Then he said "blewchle",  which must have meant "ketsup."   I wish I could have taken a  picture as he set his teeth on the metal counter and enjoyed his meal next to me.  Nice fella. 


Sunday, August 2, 2015

Dust buggars. Yes, I said dust buggars....

How could I forget one of the best stories from Friday night?  My last ride were three guys that had spent the day in the extreme heat at Lollapalooza.  Half the reason I drove that night was to make $$ off of the music fest.  These guys each wanted to rally, and continue their night out.  What I knew that the shotgun passenger did not, was that his two buddies were already falling asleep in my backseats.  He just kept droning on and on.  "Dudes,  do you have crazy dust buggars from today?".    He asked and commented about this all while cleaning out his nose.  With his fingers.  He was not shy about digging in while I drove the Kennedy Expressway at 55 MPH.   He at least had the decency of clearing his fingers of dust by putting his hand out of the car window.  Finally the friend behind him realized what was being said and done and subsequently yelled, "Dude, your dust buggars are hitting me in the face back here!"   Have YOU ever tossed a gum wrapper or cigarette ash out of your car window?  It usually ends up in the backseat.  

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Lolla and the Big Hairy Boyfriend

Tonight was full of rappers and references to the same restaurant.  A strange theme on the first night of Lollapalooza in Chicago. My first ride of note was a pickup at Parson's.  Ironically, I stumbled across the place weeks ago and the wait was too long to try it.  Uber indicated that I would be picking up Kylie.  She texted me that a Big Hairy Guy would be coming out soon.  I figured he would be with her.  Instead, Kylie arranged the pick up for her boyfriend.  Hugo was as nice as he was hairy.   He is a cook at Parson's and is proud of the chicken and fish.  Bop N Grill, a favorite on the far north side and featured on DDD.  Half way through the ride it comes out the he is really intent on becoming a successful rapper along with promoting his clothing line.   So keep an eye out for 3i$, both for his rap songs and his clothes. 

Hugo also mentioned Parsons being similar to Big Star ( http://bigstarchicago.com ).  I note this because out of the 7 or 8 rides I gave tonight, 4 of them mentioned Big Star for variousl reasons.   I guess I have some places to check out!

In addition to Big Star finding its way into my car several times, so did the Rap genre.  My favorite ride of the nite was for a trio of late twenty-somethings.  Plugging in their phone was of first priority in order to get the jams going.  They had their pre-party buzz on.  Kyle loved to make up raps.  Partly to just be silly and partly to show off for the woman in the car.  I can now define talent as someone who can us the name "Gary" in a rap song and make it sound almost cool.  " We could have rode the b-us, but we got Gary driving us in the Pre-Us."   I drive a Prius, and yes, I am in group therapy to deal with it.  This trio flattered me by wanting me to quit driving for the night and join them at a party.  I might have, by money was to be made soon with Lollapalooza ending.  Kyle then offered me cocaine if I would change my mind.   Cocaine.

Driving in the city at night brings me past many places that I would not mind being in!  I will call them Uber Teases.  Hopleaf, Half Acre Brewery, Old Town School of Folk Music, Lolla.

The previous day, however, I DID stop.  I lunched at the 90 -Miles Cuban Cafe.  Plantains and a Cuban sandwich!!!  It was also featured on the DDD.

And the small world award went to the guy with the strange accent.  I was studying conducting at the University of Illinois.  Same music school I graduated from.  Not alot of us conductors out there.

Stay thirsty my friends.