I will start with Lance the cook. While waiting in a Walgreens parking lot for my ride, I watched a guy picking up used cigarette. He disappeared from sight, and without fail, asked if I was the Uber guyupon his return. He apologize for disappearing and informed me that he "had to pee over there." He gestured to the short bushes in the middle of the parking lot. He smelled of cigarettes. Used cigarettes to be more accurate. He is also the cook in an unnamed establishment (pub) in Westchester, IL.
This next story can fall under the WHY I UBER category. I picked a couple up with one tiny piece of luggage at an upscale hotel in the west suburbs. They said they were headed to a park in Chicago, but not sure where. They asked that I just head "that way" while they searched for a public pool to explore. They just wanted to swim in a pool. I informed them that there really aren't public pools for people to just show up at in Chicago. Apparantly they travel often, and like to find pools. Kind of a sicko pool fetish. (not really, I just wanted to type that ). So I mentioned the small beach near Adler Planetarium and the suggestion as a go. While sitting in typical crappy traffic on I-290 we discussed Chicago baseball. How odd that Chicago tourists had more of an interest in the White Sox than the Cubs. "Are either team in town?" Why YES, the Cubs were about to throw the first pitch at Sox Park ( aka Comiskey, aka US Cellular Field, aka The Cell ). I gotta love their change of plans. Twenty minutes later I was about to drop them several blocks from the park so that they could scalp a few tickets, when we realized their one piece of luggage would prevent them entry. "Get back in the car" I offered. While off the clock, I took them to a friend's two-flat apartment building, hid their luggage in the back yard, and walked them through the signature Chicago neighborhood alley back to 35th street. I'll never know if they scored tickets. I'll also never know if their luggage was stolen. Good people!!
August 26. Without question, the winner of today's HOLY CRAP AWARD was Grant. He enjoyed Uber stories, and was quick to share his own insane story. First he assured me that we were headed to his house, and that it was in a safe neighborhood. He said it in that "I tell people I live in a safe place even though it is not a safe place" kind of way. He explained that a recent Uber driver picked him up in a large extended-cab pick-up truck. Odd. He then asked if I had heard about the Uber driver who shot someone? I had heard the quick news bite, but did not hear nor read any details. I think this poor guy is wondering if I might off him later, but he is again quick to explain that this Uber shooter was the good guy. Back in April, minutes after the black pick-up drops of Grant in his safe neighborhood, the Uber driver happened upon some gang activity and lively shooting. The licensed to conceal and carry driver went ahead and shot one of the gang bangers. Grant had no idea this happened until the morning, when his phone was full of messages from Uber wanting to interview him about the mental state of his Uber driver. I have to admit, my blood was pumping faster and faster as the story unfolded. This was NOT a boring ride. In fact, instead of thinking about boring Uber riders, I was feeling like a boring Uber Driver! I needed to step it up. I needed to drop off Grant and quickly find someone to assault. I am competitive! Soon after I picked up a nice couple and their puppy. I did not assault them. Nor the puppy.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-uber-driver-shoots-gunman-met-0420-20150419-story.html
Quick aside: Have you ever found yourself driving while a bit too tired? I decided to quit one night after sitting at a stop sign, waiting for it to turn green. http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-uber-driver-shoots-gunman-met-0420-20150419-story.html
August 27. I decided to turn on the Uber App on my way home from work. Sure enough I got a hit which brought me to a strip mall on 87th Street. Ann and her one piece of luggage needed to get to Midway Airport in time for her to get some "Pot Belly" and make her flight. Before I even said hello she says "wait til you hear what a day I have had." She did not dissapoint;
4:30 AM. Ann is awake in her downtown apartment, ready to venture to Midway for her 6:30 AM flight to Tampa. She would be gone several days, so she cleared the kitchen and ate the last of the nectarines.
9:00 AM. Alamo Rental Car informs her that she cannot rent a car for her drive to Sarasota with her EXPIRED Illinois Driver's License.
9:30 AM. The phone calls to the Illinois DMV fail to produce a temporary certificate despite some heavy tears.
10:00 AM. Amy will NOT see her friend in Sarasota, but the tears score a free flight home from Southwest Airlines back to Chicago. She did not even have to ask. Yay Southwest!!
1:00 PM. Amy arrives at the nearest DMV via cab. She had to guide the cab driver using her own GPS as he could not find 87th and Harlem !!!!
4:30 PM. A nice Uber guy named Gary takes Ann and her updated license BACK to Midway Airport so that she can restart her visit. This must be some friend she is visiting!
And all I am really thinking now is, mmmmmmm, Pot Belly.